


The one with the exorcists

by orphan_account



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Adam is a pure boy, Anathema is like Adams big sister, Angst, Body Horror, Exorcism, Hurt Crowley, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Wings, mild graphics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-09 21:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19483942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Crowley gets kidnapped by a group of exorcists who say they are going to save him. Aziraphale has to find him before it’s too late. All the while Heaven and Hell are building up power. And a new threat arises.





	1. The one with the same exorcists

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a fairly short chapter. It’s my first Ineffable Husbands fanfic but hey if it goes well maybe I’ll make more.

-Crowley-  
Crowley hadn’t expected his day to be bad. Then again it was rare he had good days. The only good thing about his days was the Angel, Aziraphale. Crowley would have to admit if it wasn’t for Aziraphale he would either be dead or the most evil demon in existence. Crowley shuddered at the thought. A life without Aziraphale wasn’t a life worth living.  
At the moment Aziraphale and Crowley has just returned to Crowley’s flat after going out to eat. So far the day had been fairly good. Crowley for once felt completely and utterly at peace. Of course that didn’t last long.  
Crowley and Aziraphale were sitting on the couch watching some cheesy movie. There was a knock on the door. Crowley got up and walked to the door. He was surprised to see 4 men, all who looked to be Mormon, “Can I help you?” Crowley asked slightly annoyed.  
The boys looked a tad on edge, “Are you Anthony. J. Crowley?”  
“Yea, who wants to know?” He didn’t even get an answer before he was put in silver handcuffs, “What the Heaven are you doing?!” He exclaimed  
“Don’t worry we’re going to help you,” one of them said  
“Help me what?!” Crowley hissed as the silver burned his skin.  
“Become human again,”  
Crowley groaned, “So you’re exorcists. Greaaat,” he must have been injected with some sort of sedative because he suddenly blacked out.

-Aziraphale-  
Aziraphale hadn’t noticed the events taking place until Crowley didn’t return. Worried someone from Heaven or Hell came for him. He slowly made his way to the door. It was left wide open and no trace of Crowley or anyone else was left. As the sense of panic set in looked for any clues that could lead him to Crowley. On the pavement not too far from the flat was a cross. Anyone would know that crosses and demons did not mix. From what he could tell Aziraphale knew this had something to do with something holy, or a church. 

-Crowley-  
Crowley awoke to a splitting headache. He groaned as his eyes focused. He took note of his surroundings. He seemed to be in some sort of attic. There was a devils trap painted on the ground and he was bound by silver chains.Crowley tried to struggle out of it but he knew it was no use. He sighed. As far as could tell he was alone. ‘What would Aziraphale do?’ He thought to himself.  
His thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of footsteps. Multiple men in black robes entered. Some were holding bibles, other crosses, and one guy held a pitcher of holy water. Just the thought made Crowley’s hair stand on end, “Hello demon,” one of the men said coldly, “Do you know why you’re here?”  
“I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m a demon?” He said sarcastically  
The head priest nodded, “Correct. But don’t worry you won’t be one much longer,”  
“Sorry to break your hopes Padre but I can’t really be exorcised. This is my own body,”  
“I highly doubt that,” the priest responded, “you stole this vessel from some poor human,”  
Crowley tolled his eyes, “Look, I’ve had this body for 6000 years. It was given to me so therefor it’s mine,” he said spitefully.  
The priest snapped and a younger looking boy stepped up. A sage candle in hand. Crowley scoffed, “Sage, wow I’m so worried,”  
The boy lit the candle and put it close to Crowley. It didn’t necessarily hurt him but it was an unconventional situation to be put in. He stifled a cough as the sage entered his throat, “Is that all you’ve got?” He spat.  
“Well I’ve heard that demons don’t react well with holy water,”  
Crowley tried not to show it but he was for once frightened. The priest took a syringe and filled it up with holy water. Crowley wished that Aziraphale would just hurry up and find him. The needle was plunged into his vein. He bowled out in pain. The pain was so excruciating that he blacked out.

-Aziraphale-  
Aziraphale was at a lost. Other than the cross there was nothing else that could lead him to Crowley.  
He could only hope that his friend wasn’t enduring such incredible pain.  
Even though Aziraphale wouldn’t admit it he cared for Crowley more than he cared for anything. He couldn’t imagine Crowley being hurt. 

-Crowley-  
When Crowley came to the pain had died down. But it still hurt like Hell or Heaven or whatever.  
The priest still not satisfied pressed a cross in the crook of Crowley’s neck. He cried out, “I told you I’m not possessing this body you Bastard!”  
“Just leave this vessel and we’ll stop,” the Priest said rather calmly.  
“Did you not hear a word I just said?!”  
One of the boys took a silver blade and struck Crowley. This was nearly as bad as Hell. The pain that Crowley was experiencing couldn’t be put into human words. Instead imagine every fiber of your body burning then regenerate to only burn again. He felt blood trickle out the corner of his mouth. The only thing that kept him going at this point was the thought of Aziraphale.

-Aziraphale-  
He had gotten a lead. Apparently a middle age woman saw a group of missionaries caring a seemingly limp body. He managed to locate Crowley’s energy or whatever you want to call it, seeing to call out to Aziraphale. He tried to follow this but the trail went cold after around an hour. By every minute Crowley became more and more worried. 

-Crowley-  
“Show is your wings,” the Priest commanded  
Crowley reluctantly extended his wings. The all gasped at his beautiful black wings. The priest unsheathed a large silver blade. Crowley knew what was going to happen. The blade was brought down. He felt a burning pain extending throughout his back. His wings were the only thing that reminded him of what he used to be. The fall took everything from him, except his wings. But now they were gone. A single tear fell down his face. He whimpered. He felt so humiliated. He felt like this was the fall all over agin. He remembered the sudden feeling of betrayal as god herself kicked him out of Heaven. He didn’t even have time to comprehend what was happening. One moment he was an angel and the next a grimy demon.  
As he felt himself dying he could sense a Heavenly presence. At first he thought that maybe Gabriel had come to smite him. With his current luck it didn’t seem like it couldn’t happen. But instead it was Aziraphale. Lovely Azriaphale.


	2. The one with the romantics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heaven and Hell try to find ways to rid Crowley and Aziraphale.

-Aziraphale-  
When he found Crowley it made his blood turn cold. Crowley was seemingly passed out and covered in blood. Aziraphale in a state of panic rushed over to him not attempting to fend off Crowley’s captors.  
“Who are you?!” One of them yelled  
Aziraphale turned to face him, “I am the angel Aziraphale,”   
The all looked taken aback. Aziraphale sent them all to sleep as he undid the chains that were wrapped around Crowley. Aziraphale tried to preform miracles to heal the wounds but some of them just wouldn’t work. He silently cursed as he kept trying harder and harder. He wouldn’t let Crowley die, not today.   
When Crowley’s eyes slowly fluttered open, Aziraphale silently rejoiced, “Hello, Dear,” he said softly.  
Crowley looked at him, “Angel,” he said weakly, “You cake for me,”  
“Of course,” Aziraphale picked up Crowley bridal style and walked over to the Bentley which he had driven there. He placed Crowley in the passenger seat. As he buckled him in he couldn’t help but wonder if this was the end of Anthony J Crowley. Even if he became simply discorporated there’s no way He’ll would ever let him back on Earth. The simple thought of losing Crowley made Aziraphale panic. He drove back to his bookshop as fast as he could. Passing multiple cars and angered many people.   
Upon arrival he swiftly carried Crowley in and laid him on the couch. He ran and grabbed the first aid kit he had in a cupboard. He tended to Crowley’s wounds and felt relieved when the bleeding died down and Crowley started breathing normally. He looked at the cross shape burns on Crowley’s neck and couldn’t help but feel responsible for everything that had happened.   
He sighed; Crowley looked at Aziraphale, “Where am I?” His voice sounded broken and desperate.  
“At my bookshop,” Aziraphale tried his best to sound comforting. Crowley smiled slightly, “I did my best to heal your wounds. I think I got most of not all of them,”  
There was a change of emotion of Crowley’s face he quickly sat up and tried to feel his back. Aziraphale was beyond confused. Crowley’s face has disbelief, pain, horror, and crisis all at the same time, “Dear, what’s wrong?” Aziraphale asked desperately   
“They took them,” Crowley said meekly.  
“Whatever do you mean?” Part of Aziraphale knew what was happening but didn’t want to believe it.  
“They took my wings,” Crowley’s voice wavered and broke.   
His Wings were one the most important things to Crowley, Aziraphale knew this. But it was still surprising when Crowley began sobbing. Aziraphale didn’t know what to do other than to just hold him until he tired himself out. Crowley’s tears soaked Aziraphale’s clothes but that was the least of his worries. 

-Crowley-  
He had wished it was a nightmare, something that he would just simply awake from. Crowley didn’t dream often but when he did it was usually a traumatic replay of the fall. He would always awake in a cold sweat and end up calling Aziraphale. He wished that this was just some twisted version of said nightmare. But it wasn’t. It was real. His wings were gone, his only pride. He wanted to scream until his voice went raw and bloody. He wanted to break something. He wanted to go find those exorcists and kill them. He wanted wrath and revenge. He wanted the powers of Hell to come and destroy anything he told them to. But currently he was too weak for any of that. Currently all he could do was cry in Aziraphale’s arms. And hope that it would somehow get better. But that was all he had ever done. Hope for things to get better. But they never seemed to get better. They would look up for maybe a day then just turn back into the horror that was his life. The only good thing was Aziraphale. What on Heaven, Hell, and Earth did he do to deserve Aziraphale. Perhaps it was all part of this “Ineffable plan” or maybe it was just by chance that they were at the same place at the same time. He looked back on that sunny day, where he had just tempted Eve into eating the forbidden fruit. He then met Aziraphale. He knew he loved him the moment he was told by Aziraphale that he gave away his flaming sword. From then on they met on multiple occasions. Each of which made his life better. He soon tried to run into Aziraphale.   
After the apocalypse that wasn’t, he decided to spend as much time with Aziraphale as possible.

-Aziraphale-  
Eventually Crowley stopped crying. He felt something that he tried to repress since 4000 bc but finally came to terms with in the 1940’s. This was Love. Romantic love to be exact.

-Crowley-  
As Crowley sat there, looking at Aziraphale he felt something. He gazed upon Aziraphale. Words couldn’t express how he felt about Aziraphale. Aziraphale’s was the best thing to ever happen to Crowley. He thinks to himself ‘I might kiss him’. 

-Aziraphale-   
What Aziraphale did next wasn’t something he planned on doing in all honesty is was in the spur of the moment. But it was great none the less.

-Crowley-  
But the Aziraphale kissed him. It was light and quick but it happened. And it was truly amazing. Crowley looked up at him. As he hugged him tightly. Perhaps this was the start to a better life for two of them, maybe nothing bad would happen anymore. But that would take more than a billion miracles. But for now they were ok. They were undoubtedly broken but they had each other. 

-Hastur-  
Demons in Hell knew that their attempted at killing Crowley had failed. Hastur was sent up to Earth to tempt a group of young boys to capture and “exorcise” Crowley. He gave specific instructions on what to do and somehow they still screwed up. Hastur knew that Lord Beelzebub would be less than pleased. He honestly didn’t want to face her. He paced back and forth. Thinking of some other plan to kill Crowley. Alas his mind kept drawing blank, “Hastur!” Beelzebub called.   
Hastur reluctantly walked over to her, “Yes, my Lord?”   
“Please explain to me how your ‘Fail Proof Plan’,” she spoke adding quotations, “managed to fail,” she gave every word an equal amount of spite.  
“They didn’t do what I told them to,”  
“I knew that,”  
“Maybe I can find another way,”   
Beelzebub waved him off, “I already told Dagon to insist the help of hunters,”   
Hastur growled, “Please let me try again,”  
Beelzebub shook her head, “My final answer is no,” 

-Gabriel-  
The Angels were rigorously Working to find a way to kill Aziraphale. Gabriel overseeing all of it. If he didn’t hate Aziraphale before he definitely did now. He narrowed his eyes. He should of killed Aziraphale back when he first thought that he was conspiring with the demon Crowley. Now it was almost too late. 

-Dagon-  
Dagon had been instructed to find hunters to kill Crowley and maybe Aziraphale as well. She walked down the dark stone path in the alley way. She was supposed to meet two of the greatest American hunters in all of history. She believed they were called the Winchester’s. She knew that they had come back from the dead multiple times. She also knew that they were fairly gullible. Dagon paced she didn’t like waiting. It was one of the most horrible things. She usually liked horrible things, she was a demon after all. She slumped against the brick of one of the buildings. She groaned it was going to be sunrise soon and she certainly didn’t want to be here for that. Eventually two figures could be seen, one of a tall man and the other of a shorter man. It was them, Sam and Dean Winchester.


	3. The one with Adam having a crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dagon is killed and Beelzebub gets help from unexpected sources. Adam goes to Anathema for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea where this is going.

-Dagon-  
I’m all honesty, Dagon has tried to make these hunters to join her side. But alas she failed greatly. Apparently they had an Angel. When they found out that she was a demon, Dagon launches herself at them. Only to be pierced with an angel blade.

-Beelzebub-  
Beelzebub slammed her fist down on the armrest of her throne, “Why. Does. Everyone. Keep. FAILING ME?!” she yelled loud enough for all of Hell to hear. If she was to be completely honest Dagon was one of the few demons she liked. As a demon the bar was extremely high. She tapped her foot against the metal floor. She sighed and slumped down in her throne. She knew what she had to do but she hated the idea. She took her calling device (humans calm it a phone) and called her last resort.

-Crowley-  
Crowley loves sleep, but currently that was the last thing he wanted to do. He stepped out of the dark bedroom and into the light. Aziraphale was sitting on the couch and reading a book. Crowley walked around and sat beside him, “I thought you were asleep,” stated Aziraphale.  
Crowley shrugged, “I couldn’t sleep,”  
Aziraphale nodded, “Its been a crazy 24 hours,”  
Crowley sighed, “Hey Angel, why did you kiss me?”  
Aziraphale seemed to freeze on the spot blushing profoundly, “Well I uhhhh,” he took a deep breath,” I suppose I just felt like I had to. I really like you Crowley,” 

-Aziraphale-  
Aziraphale couldn’t believe what he just said. He regretted it almost immediately. He tried to think of something else to say that would fix it but Crowley began talking before he could, “I really like you too, I have since 4004 BC,”  
Aziraphale was taken aback. Crowley chuckled, “The moment you told me you lost your bloody sword,” 

-Crowley-  
Crowley never imagined that his feelings would be reciprocated. He felt happy, for once. 

-Gabriel-  
Gabriel was not expecting to receive a call from Beelzebub. Nevertheless he answered, “What do you want?” He asked annoyed.  
“Gabriel, I need your help,”  
Gabriel was stunned,”Lord Beelzebub, needs my help?”  
Gabriel heard grumbling coming from Beelzebub, “Yes. With dealing with Crowley and Aziraphale,”  
“Been there done that, it didn’t work, remember?”  
“Yes I remember!”  
“Well then why are you calling me?”  
Beelzebub sighed, “Because both Hastur and Dagon have failed me and I’m out of options,”  
“So you called me?”  
“Yes,”  
Gabriel paced, “Well what is it I have to do?”  
“So your in?”  
“I didn’t say that,”  
Beelzebub groaned,”Well first of all you would need to separate the two. And then I would take Crowley back to hell and kill him. You can do whatever to Aziraphale,”  
“We used Holy Water and Holy Fire and that didn’t work,”  
Beelzebub seemed to think for a moment,”what if it wasn’t them,”  
“What?” Asked Gabriel, confused   
“What if they switched. We put Aziraphale in the Holy water and Crowley in the holy fire,”  
Gabriel scoffed, “They’re not that clever,”   
“I’m not saying they are. But what if somehow the managed to,”  
Gabriel thought for a moment, “So this time we need to catch them off guard,”  
“Indeed, I may also enlist the help of an old friend,”

-Adam-  
Life had become as normal as it could. He would play with the Them through the day and then go home. Some days he would hang with Anathema and Newt. For the most part his life was back in order. So it freaked Adam out when he felt the resurge of demonic and satanic power. Though it wasn’t coming from him, it was from somewhere distant. He was afraid, mostly of himself. Ever since the apocalypse that wasn’t he was scared of his power. He tried his hardest to be the most normal boy he could be. A aaa outside when he felt a shift in the Earth. Dog felt it as he began whimpering. Adam looked out into the woods. Feeling like he was being watched, “Adam, are you alright?” Asked Pepper.  
Adam looked at her and nodded. But in reality he wasn’t. He felt a loud metallic ringing piercing through his skull. He tried not to think of it but he knew something was going to happen. He knew it was coming. Though he didn’t know what “it” was. He could feel it. And he was afraid.

-Crowley-  
He felt the power. It was coming from somewhere deep and dark. He knew this feeling but he couldn’t but his finger in what exactly it was. 

-???-  
From the deep depths of Hell arose someone. He stretched and cracked his bones. A large wicked and twisted smile crossed his face. His large form grew with every breath. His eyes glowed of Fire. He let out a laugh that sounded like a scream. He scratched his nails along the brick wall. Tearing off nail. The prince of Hell was being freed from his cage. Finally after 200 years.

-Adam-  
Something was happening, he could feel it. It gave him pain with every step. Like he was being stabbed with million of small needles. He couldn’t breathe. He felt compressed. The room seemed to spin. His mum looked at him worriedly, “Adam, are you ok. You look ill,”   
Adam looked back at her. Neither of his parents knew that he was the antichrist. So he couldn’t explain to them what was going on. What even would he say, “Hey Mum and Dad guess what, I’m adopted. And my birth father is Satan. That’s crazy isn’t it!”   
If he said any of that his parents would sign him into a mental facility.   
He stood up from the chair and told his parents he was done with dinner. He went to his bedroom and slummed in the bed. He could hear whispers all around him. He covered his ears but it didn’t help. He wanted to scream. He had to tell Anathema. Maybe she would know what to do. 

-Anathema-  
Anathema was watching TV with Newt when she heard a knock at her door. She opened it surprised to see a distressed Adam Young in his Pjs at her doorstep, “Adam. What are you doing here?”   
He pushed past her, “Something is coming, something big,” his eyes were rimmed red as if he had been crying.   
Anathema places her hands on Adams shoulders, “Adam, what’s coming?”   
He shook his head, “I don’t know,” He stammered.  
Anathema spoke calmly, “It’s ok, we’ll figure it out. Ok?” Adam nodded, “Adam what does this thing feel like?”   
“Dark, and evil,” Adam was trembling. Whatever this was it was making the Antichrist terrified.

-Beelzebub-  
Perhaps enlisting the help from Mammon prince of Hell was a bad idea. Maybe it would backfire but currently none of that mattered. All that mattered was that they killed those two lovebirds.  
They would do whatever they could to ensure that. Even if it meant destroying the whole universe.


End file.
